Goddess/Sidhe/Demonic/Starseed
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Post by Ashtart on Nov 5, 2015 17:40:04 GMT -5
I had a past life memory that I was John Lennon. It came on really suddenly, I was feeling REALLY stressed out so I was taking a bath with one of those bath bombs from LUSH I just discovered that place and I'm obsessed with their bath bombs. And suddenly I sat up in the tub and realized "Oh shit. I was John Lennon." Then TONS OF ANGER. Omg. So much anger. It wasn't my anger. It was his, lying in my body for all these years. He's always been really angry inside me -_-;.... When I was a tiny kid there used to be a TV show called lifestyles of the Rich and Famous that showed you how "Rich people lived" and it used to PISS ME OFF hahaha I was a pretty calm kid but when that show came in I was all TURN THE TV OFF OMG. So I had all this bitter, dormant anger come bubbling up inside me and it wouldn't go away! Anger at people like he hated people a LOT towards the end of his life and anger towards the... "Separation between rich and poor" as he puts it in my head, like why should rich people be treated differently than poor people and why should he get special treatment and why couldn't he just be like everyone else SO MUCH ANGER fam like.... Crazy anger. The anger wouldn't go away even after days so I asked my guides what could I do and they said you have to forgive the man that killed you. I looked up a little about him on Wikipedia and learned that he said that part of the reason he killed me was for being famous. -_-; which is super ironic....... But also explains why I was so paranoid when I was five about staying anonymous and not becoming famous or else "they will send someone to kill me again." So I read a little bit about this guy but then I tried watching an interview he gave from prison and I couldn't get through it. Seeing his face made me sick to my stomach now. So that didn't work. I sing sometimes recently and I went to an open mic the next day and BOMBED so terribly I've never been so embarrassed like they pulled me off the stage you guys. ;;;; so I was sitting there feeling embarrassed and this guy comes up to me and asks me out of nowhere if I listen to the Beatles. Wtf. I was just like "YEAH, FUNNY STORY THERE." When I got home I just felt like I had to get him OUT of me, his anger and bitterness is fucking with my vibe. I talked to my mate a bit and he said "Why don't you ask him to leave." .... Oh I could do that. I started writing him a letter that basically said get out of my body and he RESPONDED and was like Oh hey. ....... So I'm like Heyyyyyy...... GET OUT ....... And THEN. He tells me this STORY. About how he wasn't going to be incarnated as me, he was chilling in this afterlife plane and this WOMAN came up to him from another non-human plane and asked him to INCARNATE with her so she'd have human karma. And also it would help him work through his TERRIBLE karma to reincarnate and he wouldn't have to stay with me forever, only until my thirteenth birthday. ..... He says, I said okay and we merged together and you were born, but you were so interesting I stayed around even after your 13th birthday. I'm sorry. ..... Right, I said. Well. Um. ..... Sod off now. .... Please. So then he said okay and he left just like that. Later I read a little about his life. His parents are a lot like mine (awful) and some of the terrible things he's done, mostly to women, mimic some of the terrible things that have happened to me sooooo I guess he got to work through his karma through me. On a separate note, my goddess self seems to be doing stuff like this all the time, so I need to try to remember all the things she's done so it doesn't blindside me anymore.
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