Goddess/Sidhe/Demonic/Starseed
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Chained
Nov 5, 2015 17:14:04 GMT -5
Post by Ashtart on Nov 5, 2015 17:14:04 GMT -5
I suppose this could have gone in the Infernal section too.
On SotF every once in a while someone, or I, would bring up the feeling or idea that this reality doesn't seem quite real. I think that one time a few years ago I got a vision where I met with these people that had jewels in their foreheads and they told me that OUR reality was a dream. What they said felt right to me at the time but I so violently disliked it that I pretty much never brought it up again.
In the present time I've been working to reunite with my mate. And while I really felt as if it would open the Gateways when we come back together, and that sort of still feels true or as if some major change will happen, I'm also starting to feel that there's a major Gateway inside *me* and that I closed it myself.
That's kind of freaky.
It's a few things. I feel a lot that my mate and I are sort of literally on different planes. We share the same world! But he can't reach me until I switch to the plane that he's on.
Then it was like Why can't he reach me and I started feeling like a part of me is actively keeping him away.
Then the other night I was doing magik to open this path between us, to help me pass through the barrier to reach him and I felt tiny little demons all around me holding chains, and the chains are attached to my body. I also feel like they're my friends, like I asked them to do this to me.
I was talking to him, telepathically as he does last night about this and he told me that I'm in a Hell dimension. Which I've felt before, in comparison to where he is, where we used to be, this feels kind of like a hell plane. He said I used to be where he was but in order to close my Gateway, the one in my body, I had to make myself as miserable as possible. When I'm happy in every way it's open. The only way to close it is misery because that closes our chakras. Feeling cut off, unloved, alone. I put myself in this dimension and then to ensure that I never ESCAPED and that the Gateway remained closed, I wrapped layers and layers of chains around myself and enlisted the help of some friendly little demons to keep me chained up.
So the other night I started releasing the chains. It's hard. It takes all my energy. I did a good job lol. Why go through all of this trouble to close my Gateway? I asked him if there was something bad on the other side. He just said "Not anymore. Come home to me."
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Post by DarkLight on Nov 8, 2015 21:47:13 GMT -5
That seems intense, Ash, and I never thought of ourselves closing off inner gateways. In fact I never considered all of us having inner gateways, to be honest. That puts a lot things in perspective. As for this world not seeming real... I feel that a lot. Hmmm, what if that feeling comes from having those gateways inside of us shut? There are many times when someone calls my name and I'm like "Who is that?" and I look around and then I ask "Where am I"? A lot of dissonance is occurring lately. It would make sense, if the reason this happens is because the gateways in us are shut down.
A Hell dimension? Neil Gaiman did say that "Hell is something you carry with you". Our own Hell dimensions... Very unnerving. I believe the inner worlds reflect the outer worlds.
There was something bad on the other side of your gateway?
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Goddess/Sidhe/Demonic/Starseed
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Chained
Nov 9, 2015 18:15:49 GMT -5
Post by Ashtart on Nov 9, 2015 18:15:49 GMT -5
Right! It feels right, and like... something that can be changed now that we know about it. I agree with you about inner worlds, Abraham Hicks agrees that we create our reality by what we are feeling and vibrating.
As for something bad I'm not sure, I think I explored in the recent hangout that maybe it was a wrong-headed attempt to limit the powers of the Enemy, by making myself and others less visible, but it's really harmful and did more harm than good. If they can't see us we can't see them either, but we can still affect each other all the same, and they had human helpers/puppets as far as memory serves to do their work for them whereas we were just unable to see or contact them at all. So mistakes were made. Opening my gateway should help even the playing field again but I think it's also safe now because they're mostly gone. So that's also why I'm feeling like I can open up again and stop being chained up. It's so much work though! hahaha
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Post by DarkLight on Jan 27, 2016 1:35:49 GMT -5
Hmm. I wonder if I closed a gateway deep within me. It feels like something is beginning to emerge and stretch like a female jaguar or something. You know, a lot of folk talk about having some part of their Other being bound or restricted, whether by punishment, a safety measure, or possibly on accident. Sometimes they did it to themselves, other say someone did. That's what all of this reminds me of, although I never felt particularly bound by an outside force. Knowing me, it was more likely inner.
My question is this: what power would be able to close these inner gateways in the first place?
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