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Post by DarkLight on Mar 23, 2015 3:32:27 GMT -5
In a lot of the Otherkin community, identifying as an incarnate deity is a huge taboo that would get many ridiculed and promptly kicked off forums evennif they were not trolling the site. A blog I follow had an entry about how godkin didn't felt like the right word to describe it all. I strongly agree because deities becoming flesh for a lifetime isn't anything new. The Hindus called them Avatars and I feel like this word is the best onenI can think of. Anyways, it took me quite a long time to realize that I am one, maybe it may take a bit to fully accept it. But I came a long way from age seven and I confident I can make even more leaps and bounds
If I went back in time and told myself that I am a goddess, I would do my lunatic cackle and maybe cry. I never felt that I could anything other little, insignificant me. I had been abused physically and emotionally by so many people that it didn't take much for me to believe that was lower than dirt. It sucks to say that I still get this feeling, but to much lesser degree. Finding out that I am a Vampyre was and HUGE life changer for me because all things that were asoociated with them (beauty, strength, sexuality) I was programmed to believe I lacked. I had to revamp (heh heh heh) my whole self peperception. But when goddesses got involved everything got stranger.
I hung out with these...people. We did magick, tarot, and all sorts of things. But things got... scary. But that's a story for another time. Bottom line: people got childish and irresponsible and burned. Especially me. So I resolved bury any power deep with me. My humility turned to self depreciation. Finally it crystalized into denial. The Universe knew that it would a lot more to convince me. It was up for the challenge.
It started with visions and dreams of me gliding amongst the stars and visiting the famed Pillars of Creation near the end. I laid mye hands on one the pillars who "spoke to me" in a feminine voice. I woke up and felt that something in me changed. No dream ever shook me the way that one did. Dreams became more intense, synchronocity ran rampant, for the more I denied, the stronger the signs. I was adamant that there was no way in hell that I be a goddess. But the Universe adamant to prove me wrong. My so called "friends" in high school claimed Vampyre royalty or world destroying powers. How stupid would I sound saying I was a Vampyre and a goddess?
At my wits end I turned to the gods, specifically Morpheus the god of dreams. We have a close relationship so I knew he didn't mind helping out. "If I am without a doubt a goddess, send me a dream with stars, however subtle or grand". There it was, the dream of stars. I woke up speechless. Morpheus smirked in victory. As I slunk under the covers I realized it was game over. I ran out of excuses and energy to deny everything.
I am a goddess. I am different but not better than everyone. I have bigger responsibility, not more privileges. But it's an honor that I cherish. And no one can take that from me. No one ever will.
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Post by Ashtart on Mar 24, 2015 18:48:44 GMT -5
Great post, DarkLight. Thank you for making such important and well-worded points. We have always existed on the planet, and we always will. The names change but the essence remains.
I have always found those spirit helpers tasked with making us accept who we truly are to be very persistent. If not you, who? Someone has to fill your role.
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Post by DarkLight on May 7, 2015 1:52:00 GMT -5
But you want to know what I find interesting? people in the Otherkin community think deity kin have it easy. Nope. I think the hardest part of being a goddess made flesh is learning the lessons that your deity stand for like Persephone and the underworld, Oya and intelligence not to mention Amaterasu and recovery. And when you line those personal experiences up with the myths the conclusions are...shockingly disturbing *nervous laugh* I should do I post on that but that give who I am away
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Post by Ashtart on May 7, 2015 21:07:24 GMT -5
It is super hard being us. We don't tend to process only our own feelings and desires and regrets but often the whole planet's, or the part where we're from, or the region that hailed us. You're responsible for filtering all the karma of everyone that called on you, knowingly or not. Sometimes that's so overwhelming!!!!
That's definitely one of the reasons that I held off owning my deity side, the responsibility, the feelings that filter through me to be processed. When I have a memory come up of what happened before and I process it, the ripple is felt on the planet. I'm not processing my past and facing my future responsibilities only for me, and that's why eventually they stopped me from running away from myself.
You are so right
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Post by DarkLight on May 12, 2015 16:48:23 GMT -5
The whole planet's? That's...intense. I thought that it would only be affecting me, not the whole world. I need to think about this. All of this. I guess I thought healing the world meant fixing the outside, helping others. I didn't pay any attention to what's going on with me. Man, this Goddess thing is tough. I heard someone say once "You want to heal the world? Heal yourself first", something along those terms. She wasn't joking then, was she?
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Post by Ashtart on May 22, 2015 4:35:12 GMT -5
Yeah, that's pretty spot on, especially with us. My guides often tell me I literally don't need to "do" anything (as far as a job, a working purpose) but shine and be the goddess, stop playing the human, process the feelings of the world and myself. That is my sole purpose and it is more than enough to ask for any of us with this role.
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